The Adderall Diaries: Weeks Seven and Eight

Talking about plates and stuff.

Welcome to the Adderall Diaries, a real-time record of my journey detoxing from 20 years of stimulants and managing work (and more importantly, life) without them.

Hi! Sorry about the two-in-one situation here. But I think it’s kind of topical given what this one’s about.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I put on my plate, metaphorically speaking; my responsibilities, whether they’re self-imposed or simply a fact of life. I once heard, on god knows what podcast, that we all have different sized appetites and plates—some people can handle more commitments than others; some people like to have a lot going on, others not so much. But you can still have a lot on your plate, no matter what size it is.

On Adderall, my plate was more like a serving platter, the kind you pull out for the turkey on Thanksgiving. And I was feasting. I like being busy; there’s something about the low hum of a never-ending to-do list that helps me drown out my own anxieties and neuroses. It keeps me on my toes.

But as I’ve been tapering off of Adderall—I’m sure you can see where this is going—that plate is shrinking. I can’t tell if that’s okay or a serious problem.